The headline entertainment at "Pride Festival" -- official "emcee" on the Boston Common, Saturday, June 10
Extremely gross and disgusting "entertainment" by Hedda-Lettuce, a man dressed as a woman.
This was blasted through huge loudspeakers you could hear blocks away, and displayed on a giant screen. Many adults (some who had brought kids) were forced to leave, it was so vulgar and distasteful.
Keep in mind that the Gay Pride Week organizers and gay "community" participants didn't seem to see anything wrong or even unusual about this. We were a little surprised to find that the homosexual newspaper "Bay Windows" featured a transcription of Hedda-Lettuce's speech in their post-Pride Week coverage, for their readers who might have missed it, which appears below.
Caution: VERY gross and disgusting.
This was not only blasted out with huge loudspeakers, but a giant screen was erected
in the Boston Common so no one could miss this "entertainment."
The keynote address by Hedda-Lettuce was faithfully transcribed by the "Bay Windows" homosexual newspaper:
"Oh, last year with the gays it was Chihuahuas, Chihuahuas were all the rage. This year, people, it's Filipino babies, and you know why? Because they're beige, and they go with everything."
[to the tune of the Dixie Chicks' "Wide Open Spaces"] "Done crystal meth since he was a child. He could fuck and fuck for days, that boy was wild. But his butt hole was large and wide. You could stick both hands in and clap [claps twice] clap inside, I'm tired of- everybody- wide open spaces."
"My favorite subcategory of bottoms is the bossy bottom. We all know the bossy bottom. They tell you how to fuck them, they leave nothing to the imagination, they come with diagrams and flow charts, you know what I mean? It's like when you go to a friend's house that just moved into a new apartment and you're helping them move a painting on the wall, and they're like, do it just to the left, no, do it just to the right, no, do it, just, pull out, pull out, you ruined everything. Martha Stewart: bossy bossy bottom, people. You think the billion dollar woman's going to let you fuck her the way you want to fuck her? Uh, uh, uh. She's going to tell you how to fuck her and make a decorative basket at the same time. That's how crafty she is. And this is an old joke, but how do you make Martha Stewart scream twice? Fuck her up the ass and wipe your dick on her curtain, that's how."
"How many men in the audience, and this can go for the lesbians too, have a big dick? Oh, that's wonderful, I like men with big dicks, I just don't like the men they're attached to most of the time. You know what happens, you go with a man with a big dick, you get on your knees, you're just about to perform fellatio, which means sucking cock in French, and they pull out that large phallus, which means huge fucking cock in French, and they don't even give you a chance to suck it. All of a sudden they start smacking you about the head and face like you're a fucking punching bag. All of a sudden you're not sucking dick, you're Mike Tyson in the ring. I've got to tell you, this is a true story, this man hit me so hard with his dick I flew over his futon, I landed on the floor, my wig shifted, I stood up, and my front tooth had crooked, he hit me so hard. It didn't fall out. I looked like that singer Jewel. You know Jewel, with the crooked tooth? All the money in the world and she can't afford to fix that fucking tooth, you know? I hate to be the man she's going down on right now. Like a cheese grater. [makes sound effect]
"You know what it's like when you come and you just want to roll over and go to sleep and that selfish faggot in the bed next to you wants you to get them off, and you're doing everything in your power to do so. You're tweaking on one of their nipples like you're adjusting a broken knob, you're biting on the other one, you've got a couple of fingers up the ass, all the while jerking them off with your free foot, shouting, 'Shoot, baby! Shoot, baby! Shoot, baby! Shoot!' And it's not sex anymore, it's like Cirque du Soliel. 'Shoot, baby, shoot, oh, oh!' And you wish at that fucking moment an alien mother ship would come overhead, beam him up, jerk him off, and beam him back down again.But I tell you, people, aliens never abduct you when need them, it is, you know, true. Oh, your hands must be burning, all that dirty talk. So, a Jew, a Pollack and a fag go into a bar. No, I don't know what - how we doing? Is she ready?
Thank you very much to Macy's Department Store, Mayor Thomas Menino, Verizon, and all the other supporters of Pride Week. Boston really needed this.