Emails

Timeline of Events & email correspondence Leading up to April 17 final meeting & arrest

Below is the list of events, including the emails that went back and forth between the Parkers and the Principal, regarding their 5-year old son (who turned 6 in March) being taught about homosexual families without their permission or notification. During this time, the Parkers also attended meetings of the Estabrook Elementary School's Anti-Bias Committee, which are noted below.

September, 2004 - Back to School Night at Estabrook Elementary School:
Tonia Parker attends "Back to School" night for 5-year-old son in Kindergarten. Parents had received a vague notice about a "Diversity Book Bag" to be used during the year. Bag and books were (apparently) displayed on a table inside the school, but Tonia was never aware of them, or saw them.

January 14, 2005 - Book comes home with son:
Anti-bias diversity book bag (containing Who's in a Family by Robert Skutch which attempts to normalize gay/lesbian families) was put in the hands of the Parkers' kindergarten son and brought home.

January 17 - Parkers to Principal:

Date: Monday, January 17, 2005
Subject: Estabrook Diversity Book Bag

Ms Jay,

Today our son, [child's name], in Ms Johnson's kindergarten class at Estabrook, brought home a Diversity Book bag. It was filled with various books deemed appropriate by the anti-bias group, and funded by the Lexington Education Foundation and the PTA. In response to the request to fill in a Family Feedback Form found in the Diversity Book bag we have constructed the following letter. We wish to make our feedback known publicly.

In the feedback form given to us, it explicitly states that one of the goals of this program is to acknowledge and celebrate the diverse backgrounds and families in our school community. There is a book included entitled, Who's in a Family (with pictures) that include lesbian and homosexual couples with children ---- implicitly equating this family structure as a morally equal alternative to other family constructs. We stand firmly against this book or any other subject matter pertaining to homosexuality ever being indoctrinated to our child, discussed in school, or sent home. We don't believe gay parents constitute a spiritually healthy family and should not be celebrated.

It is one thing to endorse to not persecute/harm homosexuals/lesbians, it is another to teach young children implicitly that these values are acceptable. Some may maintain that if they can not present homosexual situations in school--- this is a form of persecution and harm. To us- this is a very contrived argument. The real question is-do parents have the right to exclude/shield their children from these contrary values being pushed upon young children in elementary school. Furthermore, we believe--just because it is legal in this one state does not give the school the right to teach that it is correct- even implicitly. After all, it was once legal that women and blacks could not vote, and slavery was once legal by law---and that did not make it correct. Estabrook elementary school (or any elementary school for that matter ) is not supposed to teach my child values and morals. That is the parents' sacred responsibility- whether the parents are heterosexual or homosexual. The public school system is there to teach reading, writing, arithmetic, science, music, art, and other school subjects. We acknowledge that there are rights that need to be protected for the gay community,however; the "out of the closet" into the kindergarten classroom mentality will not do justice to this cause and frankly- it just isn't necessary at this impressionable age. We believe this is a promotion of homosexuality to young impressionable children whom are told to listen and obey their teachers and principle, who knowingly or unwittingly will indeed become the purveyors of these values.

We want to state for the record that [son's name] shall be removed from any and all classroom or school functions which discuss or display homosexuality. We anticipate that you will respect our wishes.

We believe we have the right to answers from you to the following series of questions:

1) Is it the intention of Estabrook to include homosexual/lesbian family dynamics as part of the school curriculum?

2) Is your position in this matter that parents don't have the right to intervene in teaching homosexual family values because of state law?

3) Is equal emphasis and sensitivity being given to Judeo/Christian/Islamic and secular communities and their respective family values--- many of which do not endorse gay family values?

4) Do you commit to us that [son's name] will not be subjected to homosexual family values at Estabrook?

5) Who else has viewed these materials and deemed it appropriate for the children in the school system to take home and view/read?

It is not necessarily you, solely, whom we wish to focus our concerns on, however; we feel as the principal- we need answers from your perspective. We will be posing these same question to other authorities.

We are also requesting from you the e-mail addresses for key Anti-bias group representatives.

To all people whom we have sent this e-mail--- we encourage your feedback, both to the school and to us, concerning this letter. We also encourage anyone to forward this note to other Estabrook parents, since; we were completely caught off guard when our 5 year old son brought this material home.

Sincerely and with genuine love to all,
David and Tonia Parker

January 18 - Principal's reply to Parkers:

Date: Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I want to make sure we have a chance to discuss all of your concerns, so I think the best thing would be if we could meet together. I could meet with the two of you on Thursday, January 20 at 8 or 9:30 or Friday at 8 or 4. Would any of these times work for you? If not, if you could mention some days and times and I'll see what I can find on my calendar.

Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Joni Jay

Januray 18 - Parkers to Principal (and Superintendent):

Date: Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Ms Jay and Mr. Hurley,

Thank you very much for taking our concerns seriously and getting back to us promptly. You can be sure that we have already communicated all of our concerns in the e-mail that you have received. We agree that we should meet together as soon as possible however, reiterating the concerns in our letter will not make for a productive meeting. Rather you should be ready to begin to address the school's position on those concerns with answers to the questions we put forth. If you are ready-- then we want to meet with you as soon as possible.

At the very least, even before this meeting- we would like a commitment from you that [my son] will not be subjected to homosexual family values/materials at Estabrook from teachers/staff/and school visitors/guests.

Sincerely,

Dave and Tonia Parker

January 18 - Principal to Parkers:

Date: Wednesday, January 18, 2005

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Parker,

Of course it is my intent to answer your questions when we meet. I can tell you that we do not have any part of the Kindergarten curriculum that teaches students about gay values. What I can't control is what students may say to one another, as we do have children in our school who have parents who are same sex partners. These issues may come up in talk on the playground, during show and tell, when a student shares a picture about what the family did over the weekend, or when their parents come in to the classroom to volunteer or for a party. In some cases, teachers will need to respond, and they do their best to do it in a way that is factual and respectful of all families, referring children to their parents if they have more detailed questions. Also, the school libraries in Lexington all contain, as part of our collections on families, a couple of books that depict a variety of family configurations (as in the one you saw in the bookbag). [Your son] might choose such a book to look at and bring home, though he certainly wouldn't be guided to one.

That said, would you be able to make any of the times that I indicated? If not, please propose some others.

Joni Jay
Principal, Estabrook School

January 21 - Parkers meet with Principal
Tonia Parker's notes: Discussed anti-bias diversity book bags. She [Principal] stated we were the first ones to ever complain about the diversity book bag. This is the third year. She communicated to us that she had checked with administrators and that no parental notification is required to discuss homosexual families/issues. Principal also added, "Faculty can discuss homosexual families and homosexual issues with your son." We firmly stated that is not acceptable and we object. [A8A Comment: Telling parents that they're the "first ones" to complain is a common, and often dishonest, tactic. We once had three parents told that by a principal in the same day!]

January 28 - Impromptu meeting with Principal
David was displeased that the diversity book bag had gotten into his family's 'hands' again, also against parents' will. Two days earlier, Tonia was driving home her son and another child -- the Montalvo's son -- from school. The other boy had been given the book bag for the weekend, and had it in the car with him. But the boy's parents had already stated that they objected to the diversity bag, and did not want it coming home with their son. The school sent it home anyway! The Montalvos left Lexington soon afterwards because of this and similar incidents.

February 8 - Parkers attend Anti-Bias Committee Meeting.
Subject of meeting, sponsored by Estabrook Anti-Bias Committee, was "How and Why to talk to your Kids about Diversity," featuring Jon Pfeifer, who was described as "award winning guest speaker and GLSEN representative." The entire talk was about homosexuality. Summary of actions he felt needed to be taken in the public schools: many homosexual family books in each elementary classroom, gay/lesbian family posters on the walls of every elementary classroom, and teacher initiated discussions about homosexual families/issues.

February 15 - Parkers attend second Anti-Bias Committee Meeting
Committee discussed anti-bias committee mission statement.

Late February - Montalvo family removes children from Estabrook Elementary School over homosexual agenda.
See statement read at Parker rally. Montalvos had similar experiences to Parkers with their children in the lower grades of the Estabrook Elementary School. Father has also attended Estabrook Anti-Bias meeting with David Parker. Their solution, unfortunately, was to remove their children from the Lexington school system.

March 4 - Parkers to Principal:

Date: Friday, March 4, 2005

Ms Jay,

We find it necessary to write to you and the Lexington Public School to inform you of the following:

We do not authorize any teacher or adult within the Lexington Public School system to expose our sons, [older son] and [younger son] (begins school in 2006) to any sexual orientation/homoseexual material/same sex unions between parents.

We shall be notified in advance of any such activity in the Estabrook School.

Dave and Tonia Parker

March 4 - Principal to Parkers:

Date: Friday, March 4, 2005

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Parker,

The Lexington Public School Policy is that any discussion of sex requires parental notification. We have a unit that deals with Human Growth and Development in 5th grade and parents are notified about that. I have confirmed with our Assistant Superintendent and our Director of Health Education that discussion of differing families, including gay-headed families, is not included in the parental notification policy. If you wish to clarify the policy with me or Mr. Ravenelle, please feel free to contact us.

Joni Jay
Principal, Estabrook School

March 4 - Parkers to Principal:

Date: Friday, March 4, 2005
Subject: David and Tonia Parker's Parental Rights Assertion

We would like to clarify that our previous e-mail which states: "we do not give the Lexington Public School system permission to discuss homosexuality issues (i.e. - trans gender/bisexual/gay headed households) to our son [son's name]" - is a parental assertion; not a matter open to legal interpretation or administrative policy. Let us, David and Tonia Parker, parents of [son's name], be clear in purpose and prose on this matter:

Discussions concerning homosexuality issues will not take place in front of our son, [son's name] (5 yrs old), at Estabrook. This includes material given to [our son] to covertly transport into our household (i.e.- diversity book bag). Such doctrine is against our Christian family beliefs. We will be notified when there are plans to have homosexual material discussed with the students - when [our son] is present - so that we can take action to ensure his spiritual safety. You are not permitted to infringe upon our religious beliefs and parental rights or obviate our freedom of choice, to exclude our son from material that would expose him to beliefs contrary to the Word of God in our Christian faith. Our parental rights and Christian belief system will be respected in this diversity- oriented, anti-biased school community. We know other parents, of various faiths and values, that endorse this position. This is not solely a Christian assertion of rights.

May God bless everyone who reads this to be shown his Love and truth of his Word.

In Christ,
Dave and Tonia Parker

PS- It is requisite that our assertion of rights be documented to teacher/staff; since, there were previous examples of less than adequate communication within the Lexington School system.

March 6 - David Parker to Principal & both chairs of the Anti-Bias Committee
(This email was never answered.)

Date: Sunday, March 6, 2005
Subject: Respecting Beliefs Counter to the Gay Agenda

From David Parker: You may remember that I am a new member of the Estabrook anti-bias group and have a child in Kindergarten.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the next Anti-bias meeting on March 14th, however; I want to insure that my sentiments/suggestions are not lost for this meeting. I am new to this group and have some critical questions/comments?

1) Is it the intention of the anti-bias group to inform or expose the children in elementary school to any homosexual or sexual orientation initiatives or principles? I assumed this information is to inform adults- however, the diversity bookbag initiative proves otherwise. I want to make sure that we are not creating a foundation to expose students to this. I want to insure that "safety" in our mission statement implies "spiritual safety" of my children. We were saddened by the departure of the Montalvos (2nd grade and kindergarten) from Estabrook - the fact is - they did not feel safe at Estabrook because their children have been exposed to gay issues without parental consent. And I do not want our recommendations that "set direction for schools" and "the school improvement plan" to suggest in anyway to include initiatives that compromise the spiritual safety of (my) any children.

2) I have witnessed, at these anti-bias meetings, that the other side of the homosexual issue and other belief systems/parental values that oppose sexual orientation/homosexuality are not being taken into account (or at the least are not given equal consideration with respect to time and emphasis. In fact, this "anti-bias" group seems extremely bias in this regard. To provide a balance, I am putting forth several speakers to the anti-bias group. The first is John R. Diggs, Jr., MD- Clinician, Educator, Speaker to talk about marriage, Religion, and homosexuality. The second is Stephen Bennett or other Ex-gay individuals - to speak on changing From Gay to straight. I am seeking others.

There is a very strong under current of conflicting belief systems/values at the anti-bias meetings. Specifically, those that believe homosexuality should be accepted as normal and those that don't. All though I am stating the obvious, we must not be afraid to seek to understand all sides of the gay/straight/ heteros-exual and same sex marriage issues. Let us truly seek to be anti-biased and respect the diversity of other points of view.

Also- may I have the list of all E-mail addresses to the anti- bias group.

Thank you in advance for your consideration,

Sincerely,
David Parker

March 28 - Principal's reply to Parkers:
(Answering March 4 email on Parental Rights Assertion)

Date: Monday, March 28, 2005
Subject: Re: David and Tonia Parker's Parental Rights Assertion

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Parker,

I just wanted to let you know that I did receive this email.

Thanks.

Joni Jay
Principal, Estabrook School

April 11 - Parkers attend third Anti-Bias Committee Meeting
It was announced at this meeting that homosexual books are coming to all elementary classrooms from K-5. Didn't specify 'just Estabrook.' Dave objected. Anti-bias members (teachers/parents) went on to say that our parental rights assertion (which was sent via email to all staff and administrators at Estabrook) would not be honored or respected at Estabrook.

April 12 - Parkers to Principal requesting (final) meeting:

Date: Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Ms Jay,

Dave and I would like to schedule a meeting with you at your convenience. Dave attended the anti-bias meeting on 4/11/05. They informed Dave that books with homosexual issues/families will be placed in every classroom in our school.

Were you aware of this? Who approved this? Various members of the anti-bias group also told Dave that our parental rights assertion would not be honored or respected at Estabrook. By what authority does the anti-bias group deny us of our rights? Who is responsible for the official response to our parental rights assertion pertaining to our son, [son's name]?

We thank you in advance for addressing these questions and also scheduling a time we can meet with you.

Sincerely In Christ,
Dave and Tonia Parker

April 22 - Principal to Parkers, scheduling final meeting:

Date: Friday, April 22, 2005

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Parker,

My apologies for the delay in getting back to you. I've been trying to arrange a time that Mr. Ravenelle, the Director of Education, could join us to meet. We could both meet with you on Wednesday, April 27 at 2:30 or 3. Would that work for you? If not, please indicate some possible times, and I'll see what we can do.

Joni Jay

April 24 - Parkers to Principal & Director of Education, restating their specific reason for requesting meeting:

Date: Sunday, April 24, 2005

Ms Jay and Mr Ravenelle,

We were not certain that a previously sent E-mail concerning the confirmation of our meeting on April 27th, 2005 from 3:00-4:00 pm was properly transmitted- so we have re-sent another version.

Dave needs to make arrangements to leave work for Wednesday's meeting concerning additional materials regarding gay-headed households to be infused into Estabrook Elementary without parental notification. We would like to confirm an appointment to meet with you on April 27th from 3:00-4:00 pm. Please also inform us where the meeting will be taking place at and ensure that both of you will be in attendance.

Please be prepared to address the following questions as per our last E-mail:

Dave attended the anti-bias meeting on 4/11/05. They informed Dave that books with homosexual issues/families will be placed in every classroom in our school. Were you aware of this? Who approved this? Various members of the anti-bias group also told Dave that our parental rights assertion would not be honored or respected at Estabrook. By what authority does the anti-bias group deny us of our rights? Who is responsible for the official response to our parental/religious rights assertion pertaining to our son, [son's name]?

We will insist that notification be given to us, as parents of [son's name] (6yrsold), concerning the exposure of gay-headed households/transgender issues at Estabrook to him, since such, is contrary to our religious and secular family beliefs/values-- as you have already been informed on numerous occasions.

We very much look forward to meeting with you.

God Bless in Jesus Christ's name,

David and Tonia Parker

April 25 - Parkers to Principal, to clarify meeting time and attendees:

Date: Monday, April 25, 2005

We received a phone message, from Mrs. Bello, today (4/25/2005) confirming our meeting on Wednesday (4/27/2005) from 3:00 to 4:00pm in Ms Jay's office at Estabrook. However, there seems to be some ambiguity on who will be attending-- Mr. Hurley or Mr. Ravenelle or both? Please confirm by E-mail to clarify the situation and the meeting time before Wednesday.

David and Tonia Parker

April 26 - Principal to Parkers, clarifications for final meeting:

Date: Tuesday, April 26 2005

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Parker,

I'm sorry the message wasn't clear. Mr. Ravenelle and I will be attending the meeting. We'll see you at 3 tomorrow here at Estabrook.

Joni Jay
Principal, Estabrook School
117 Grove Street, Lexington, MA 02420
781-861-2520

April 26 - (Evening) David Parker at Lexington School Committee Meeting
David addressed the Lexington School Committee with concerns about homosexuality being presented to his son, and the school not accomodating his parental rights in the matter. School Committee refused to respond.

At the April 27 meeting at Estabrook (referenced in April 26 email), David Parker was arrested and taken to jail.